I saw something dangerous, disgusting and infuriating on my way to work today. As I was walking south on Lexington, just past Bloomingdale’s there was a spread-out pile of fresh dog shit just laying right in the middle of the sloping part of the sidewalk … you know, the part that’s sloped to make it easier to walk on … where EVERYONE steps. I mean, thank G-D I saw it at the last second, because if I stepped in dog shit at 8:30 in the morning I woulda been pissed like Jennifer Aniston at her success with men.
The culprits were either an old man walking two Scotties just a few steps in front of me, or this yuppie couple walking a Shih Tzu about one block ahead. The guy was dressed like a sailor from Love Boat and the girl was dressed in those skin-tight running pants from Lululemon or wherever. I may have been blinded by her ass for a quartermillisecond until I realized I was still steaming about the shit.
Either way, I swear, if I had stepped on it, I would have backtracked, found Mrs. Yuppie, taken my shoe off, and wiped it on her shirt! Hey, shit for shat is what I always say.
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