As per TV Guide, here are more of the most popular shows on television, and where they are ranked (1 to 100). Sorry, I don’t know what criteria they used to come up with this list; there is nothing cited.
(3) So You Think You Can Dance: Known to me as "So You Think You Can Make Me Watch This Crap?" My wife used to DVR it, but thank the Lord we never have time to watch it. (Side note: Cat Deeley is the best host on TV. Her I like; but the show is about dancing! What straight man will watch this? (See No. 6 below.)
(5) Teen Mom: Where oh where did MTV make the turn to Crapville? This is certainly what I’d want my teenage daughter watching—depressed, unattractive, undereducated teen girls knocked up at 15 by horny, unattractive, undereducated teen boys. True role models. Absolutely!
(6) Dancing with the Stars: Just a snapshot of the ‘stars’ who have competed: John O’Hurley, Lisa Rinna, Tia Carrere, Shanna Moakler, Monique Coleman (I know, Who?), Shandi Finnessey (Miss USA 2004. I guess that show is still on, too), Albert Reed, Sabrina Bryan, Cameron Mathison, Steve Guttenberg (Has he made a movie since Three Men and a Little Lady?), Marissa Jaret Winokur, Cristian de la Fuente, Steve Wozniak (He’s HUGE. Nuff said.), Ty Murray, Melissa Rycroft, Gilles Marini (famous for showing his pee pee), Tom DeLay (Really?!), Louie Vito, Joanna Krupa, Ashley Hamilton, Buzz Aldrin (Did you see that clip of him on WWE? YouTube it.) and Kate Gosselin. (If she’s a “star,” we’re all going to hell.)
Side Note: is it really fair to the other contestants when they have people like Nicole Scherzinger, Mya and Evan Lysacek on as competitors? Come on!
(7) American Idol: It sucks now. We all know it. Let’s move on.
(10) Grey’s Anatomy: Is that the show with the skinny chick with the big tits who was in Old School? Yea, must have skipped it.
(13) Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Paris Hilton gets far less credit than she deserves. She’s a trailblazer. For instance: Rich…Check. Heir to a fortune…Check. Attractive…Check. Stupid…Check. Made obligatory sex tape…Check. Sooo upset over it getting out…Check. Turning a life of leisure that nobody in their right mind cares about into an empire…Check. Just replace Paris with Kim and you’ve got this show. I can say without hesitation that I will hate anybody who watches it.
(14) Desperate Housewives: I don’t know about you but I’m desperately waiting for this show to end! They’re in “Golden Girls” territory.
(22) Secret Life of the American Teenager: Molly Ringwold is on this; it kind of makes fun of itself. How in the HELL is this on a channel called ABC Family??? How in the HELL do the Christian nutbags out there not complain about this being on the air? It’s all about idiot teenagers having awkward sex. And getting knocked up. It’s worse than “Teen Mom” cuz some genius had to think up this fictional crap. I hope the producer’s 12-year-old has mixed-race twins as punishment!
(32) Ghost Whisperer: How did this last so long? For the record, this is not the male version of “The Mentalist.” Jennifer Love Bacon (thanks WWTDD) is not the female equivalent of Simon Baker; Blake Lively is.
(34) Family Guy: Only TV show I own on DVD. I have every season.
(38) Gossip Girl: Hate the show. Love Blake Lively.
(43) The Office: Jumping the shark + No more Carrell = Canceled.
(46, Miami; 81, Original) CSI: Hey, there’s a dead guy! Wait, I just found a fossilized sugar molecule! I know who did it—it was his middle school gym teacher! He always used to eat donuts and the dead guy used to steal them from him! Wow, thank god for all those fancy computer do-hickies. Without them we’d have definitely missed that bullet hole to the head and the confession letter left at the crime scene!
(47) Glee: Gayest. Show. Ever.
(67) Castle: First off, I couldn’t even believe this was on the list. But lemme sum up: A mystery author solves crimes with a hot cop? This sounds like porn to me. Seriously, I’m just waiting for that knock at the door of headquarters from the maintenance man …
(89) Mad Men: It is summed up easily: Men rock, women are only here for our entertainment. But I’ll watch a good hour of Don Draper taking a long drag of his cigarette, then a sip of his bourbon, then staring into space for 12 seconds, then opening his mouth to speak a five-word sentence berating a subordinate and moving on. … Now go get my coat and hat, woman!
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