Monday, November 23, 2009

Fleedom from oppression

One of my closest friends is Philippino. And so I asked him: Why do Asians have absolutely zero sense of personal space? He had no answer (and then corrected me and said he was a "Pacific Islander").

I was just on line the other day to pay for two things at Duane Reade. The line formed down the main corridor in front of the registers, and there was probably about five to six feet of space between the customer at the checkout and the next person in line. One person moves to the checkout, the next person waits five or six feet back--that’s just how it goes. There were two people in front of me when I got there and about four people behind me. I was there to get the two items I couldn’t get at the grocery store and so as I was on line I had two heavy bags in my hand, one of which had eggs in them. So when I’m next, I approach the register and gently place my two grocery bags at my feet so I can pay for my two things and get out as quickly as possible so the next person can go. As the person in front of me paid, I was five feet back.

Now, you’d expect the person behind you to do the same. It’s one of those natural laws of etiquette, one that’s unwritten but that everybody follows, like not staring at a retarded person in the mall or where to walk and where to stand on an escalator. So I finish paying and am about to leave, I quickly put my debit card back in my pocket and bend down to get my two grocery bags. Lo and behold there is an Asian man standing RIGHT BEHIND ME! Literally 12 inches from my back where I just paid. Oh no, this man will not wait five feet back like everyone else! He cannot possibly! He has to have his fucking nose in between my shoulder blades! As I picked up the bags to leave they nearly hit him, because obviously I wasn’t expecting anybody to be that friggin' close to me. And if my eggs broke I swear I would have found the nearest Hello Kitty bookbag and beat him to death with it!

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